Tonya Eichler

hey mama well you know i miss you so much! i want you back so bad i want to call you all the time and talk and hang out have girls night like old times..i wanna go back to the days when i was a little girl i just wish i had a day with you again. well your birthday is friday and we are gonna spread yournashes like you wanted ove the smokies its gonna be a hard day. but i know you will be with us. i miss you so much it feels like you have been gone forever i hope it gets easier i love you so much. belle has said mama yay lol and she is getting a tooth up top she is getting so big i wish you could be here to play with her i know she misses you. i love you lots and lots...

hey mom! well i miss you terribly i have wanted to call you so bad and talk to you bout problems that have been going on latley i feel alone i know im not but there is no one like you so its hard i just feel alone. i am going on a gravel path right now its really bumpy im confused angry upset it goes on and on. i want to get my own place so bad but know that wont happen for a long time casue i dont have the money it just sucks. i want to pay off my car and get something that is safer i dont owe much at all but i dont think it will live much longer lol. i am being told that i prob wont be able to go back to work till mid april which sucks real bad. well i am with belle 24/7 literally i wake up with her in the middle of the night like 2 or 3 times in the night i do everything for her with hardly any help i am wore out and wish you were here cause i now that you would be right her with me helping me letting me rest you wouldnt mind at all taking belle from me for a few. i just want some help its hard maybe one day lol...well belle will be 9 months old in lika week, thats CRAZY!!!! will you please visit me in my dreams you havent yet and i need you to but i will wait for you i love you so much and miss you terribly but its 12:43 a.m. lol so i need to get some rest cause belle will be upi early lol.....i love you so much and miss you so much goodnight...

hey mom! i have been thinking alot latley about what i could have done better or i wish i wouild have visited you more often just so many things and its breaking my heart, i wish you were here so bad. in have ok days and there are so many times during the day that i get real sad i need youso bad. i wish you were here so bad so we could hang out and so belle could be with you. i wish she would have been with you more she loves you so much. her first birthday is 3 and a half months away and your not gonna be there it makes me so very sad but i know ypou will be there in spirit. i got my nails and toes done today and sondra wouldnt go with me and i knew if you were still here you would have went with me. well belle hasnt had a bottle in 2 days she is drinking outta her sippy cup yay lol. i cant wait to go to michigan and see everyone i wish we all lived close together like in the same county it would be so nice to have everyone so close. this weekend is gonna be nice but ad cause i know how much you loved going up there and me and you went up there together when i was pregnant about this time last year. thank you for being there for me when i needed you the most during my whole pregnancy and just everything i have the greatest mom in the world and you were so amazing an beautiful. i love you so much. i cant wait to get my tatoo hopefully i will get it real soon its gotta warm up first if im gonna get it on my foot. its almost march and we have snow almost everyday its crazy i want the warm weather to get here so bad.. well me walker and belle and maybe sondra and sam are going to go to the beach this summer we are putting some of our tax refund aside and going to add to it every paycheck till summer. well i cant sleep like always im usually awake till 3:30 or 4 i just cant sleep then i have to be up with belle so i am exhausted but im gettin used to it. well i love you so so so smuch and miss you like crazy goodnight mama!

hey mama well the sun doesnt seem to want to come out anymore its just been dreary here! well last night was alot of fun i really wanted to be able to call you and tell you what was going on like old times. i wish someone would create a time machine so i could go back so we could hangout again i miss seeing you and talking to you. this summer is going to be hard especially belles 1st birthday cause you were supposed to come and then the pool you bought her for your house. we had so many plans for the future. you were gonna give belle ice cream for the first time, and chocolate and all that bad stuff. this is so hard without you. i wish i could go back and change alot of things i regret alot of things that happened and im sorry i love you so very much you are such an amazing woman mother grandmother daughter sister etc. i miss you so very very much. i cant wait to go to michigan to see the family and do the memorial service i know you will be there. well little miss belle is awake she doesnt want to sleep anymore. o ya tonigt walker was giving her a bath and we have an elmo floor mat in the tub and she saw elmo and tried to go under water to get him lol. i am so glad i have belle she keeps me going its hard to be sad around her she just wont let me lol. walker is so great to he said we are gonna get married one day, that day will be very hard without you there but i know you always wanted to see me get married and i will and i know you will be there right by my side. i could write forever i love you so so so much i miss you so much ive asked you to visit me in my dreams and you havent yet that i know of if you have i dont remember. i love you so much and miss you terribly goodnight mama! 

hey mom i have had a ok day i am missing you terribly i wish i could call you and talk to you i have so much to say! i love you so much i never told you that enough! well me walker sondra and sam are all going to the blue moose tonight to watch the band play. it will be fun but i cant stop thinking of you! ill try to not let sondra drink alot this time, i didnt get to tell you the last time she did it was the night before you were taken from us i was going to call you and tell you how stupid and funny she was buty it was late and i didnt know if you were awake i wish now i would have called you so we could of had one last laugh together! i love and miss you so much this is so hard.. i love you mom and i will write later love you so very very much!

 

                                                                               love, ashleigh